Can someone please tell me where the hell December went? Like, seriously, what happened? But here we are, and so to wrap up the year I've put together a few more lists for you to enjoy, tear apart, disagree with or have your vulnerable opinions validated by, including my 15 least favourite albums of the year. If any of your favourites happen to appear on this list and you are sadly offended or annoyed, please remember that you are still a unique snowflake and your opinion matters more than mine. Seriously, if you really like any of these records, I care as little as you should because that's the great thing about music - it's subjective! And, you know, it is still possible to survive with others having differing opinions. Just clench your teeth and get through it, you'll be alright.
15) Ed Sheeran - ÷
If you cast your mind back to when I reviewed the newest Ed Sheeran album, you'll remember that while I didn't particularly care for it there were a number of redeeming qualities that I commended Sheeran on. The unfortunate thing is that with time I have come to dislike this record more and more, to the point that I will go out of my way to change the channel or skip to another track if anything on this best-selling drinks coaster comes on. To be fair, I think that is as much to do with the fact that these tracks get absolutely murdered by constant radio play, but even so I can't think of many other records from this year that get such consistently negative reactions from me. This is your fault, Spotify.
14) Linkin Park - One More Light
Again, I'm not going to go into the whole Chester Bennington thing here, that discussion warrants its own blog post. But One More Light was such a spiteful backhanded slap in the face for tentatively peering back into a world I used to be intrenched in out of genuine curiosity that I would actually feel offended if I cared enough about Linkin Park in 2017. I don't feel like I need to spend more time talking about One More Light when I already spent too much writing a review earlier in the year. If you didn't get around to it then, don't bother.
13) Prophets of Rage - Prophets of Rage
My hype for this record was pretty crazy, which in retrospect was probably one of the main reasons this was such a flop. I mean, surely this should have been awesome, given all the ingredients - including a volatile political landscape ripe for critique - were there and readily available. I didn't want Rage Against The Machine 2.0, but we really should have been able to expect something even close to as powerful and biting as they were in their prime given the talent and pedigree on this record. A sour, sour disappointment for me that this album sucked as much as it did.
12) Fit For An Autopsy - The Great Collapse
Deathcore can be cool, I promise. It's just a shame that Fit For An Autopsy aren't doing a great job of convincing anyone of that sentiment. Unfortunately it's getting harder and harder to defend deathcore, and given that I had labelled Fit For An Autopsy as a band to watch carefully within this musical world I found The Great Collapse to be not only a massive let down but a reason why I won't call myself a deathcore fan.
11) Imagine Dragons - Evolve
Not really sure I need to say much about this one; everything about this record screamed "play me on the radio" and for that I resent Imagine Dragons pretty wholeheartedly. Please correct me if I'm missing the point, but I have seen and heard nothing to convince me that they aren't simply watered-down (or just standard, these days) Coldplay worship group intent on filling out the middle of the bellcurve. That bellcurve exists for a reason though, and evidently they meet a fairly large demand, but everything about Evolve just seemed too sanitary and perfect for me.
10) Foster The People - Sacred Hearts Club
I copped some heat for my review of this album when it came out, but guess what? It still sucks. And it's my list, so here it is.
9) Various Artists - Spawn (Again): A Tribute To Silverchair
Ocean Grove smashed it, as did Northlane. The In Hearts Wake cover of "Freak" was surprisingly awesome. Other than that, this tribute album comprised of the major UNFD mainstays falls flat on its face. Unsurprisingly Amity's rendition of "Tomorrow" is an utter snooze-fest, and Void of Vision completely butcher my all-time favourite Silverchair song, "Israel's Son".
8) In Hearts Wake - Ark
Much like The Amity Affliction's This Could Be Heartbreak from last year, Ark proves that you can't simply manufacture success by replicating what you've done before. Granted, there is a sort of interesting idea in the water theme going with this record, but at this stage even the loose concept album thing has become samey for In Hearts Wake. Ark doesn't make it onto this list for the same reasons as some of the other albums here; it makes it onto this list because I know (or have at least convinced myself) that they can do so much better than rinse and repeat. The problem here is that they have done it enough times that I'm starting to be convinced otherwise. The world does notice when you make the same album four times in a row. Or I do, at the very least.
7) New Found Glory - Makes Me Sick
I don't have to say it, do I?
6) Future - Future
Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.
5) Mastodon - Emperor of Sand
This album hurt me. Deeply.
4) Drake - More Life
Should be titled "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things".
3) The Chainsmokers - Memories... Do Not Open
I didn't write a review for this one when it came out, and even though it has been requested (sorry Max), I resisted writing about it for a long time. Here it is though, coming in hot at number 3 in my list for my least favourite albums of the year. Memories... is the kind of album that fills an aspiring musician (like myself) with confidence and lights a fire under your bum, because if they can make it, surely I can. It genuinely baffles me that such mediocre songwriting, generic production and both emotionally immature and properly annoying lyricism can come together to make one of the 2017 success stories in music. Bet hey, what do I know?
2) Shania Twain - Now
I don't know why we needed another Shania Twain album in the first place but Now pretty much fulfilled my expectations of what would happen if we heard from her in 2017. I still can't quite figure out what the point of this record is. Frustratingly, apparently not everyone agrees, given that it shifted 137,000 copies in its first week.
And here it is...
1) XXXTENTACION - 17
I know he told me not to care if it's not for me. I know it's meant to be for people who are "going through the same thing" so they can get through it together. And I know that 17 wasn't even meant for me. But before I even get into the lyrical side of this "album", there is so little actual material here that feels like it was properly thought over and developed into actual music that I found it incredibly hard to believe that this guy actually put enough effort in this project to warrant any attention back. Every single track is completely undercooked, merely ideas that haven't been turned into actual songs. There's this weird contrast between dirty hip-hop tracks and acoustic tracks that makes absolutely no sense to me; there just isn't any cohesion at all between these two sounds and by the time the 22 minutes are up I can't decide which of the two I liked less. No doubt I;ll get some shade for putting this as my worst album of the year, but it was such an underdeveloped, juvenile and whiney mess that I honestly wish I could take back the time I spent listening to it. At least it's short.
So there you have it! There were a bunch more albums that could have easily made it onto here but I just didn't want to have to think about this one too much. Remember kids, I'm just a nerd behind a keyboard and my opinion is just as meaningless as yours in a world where everyone is a self-proclaimed expert, so if any of my choices made you angry feel free to either leave an angry comment or yell it over the fence at your neighbour. Or, if you want, you can think about my choices, think about what your choices are, maybe start a conversation with someone, maybe think a little more about how you listen to music. How good's music?
15) Ed Sheeran - ÷
If you cast your mind back to when I reviewed the newest Ed Sheeran album, you'll remember that while I didn't particularly care for it there were a number of redeeming qualities that I commended Sheeran on. The unfortunate thing is that with time I have come to dislike this record more and more, to the point that I will go out of my way to change the channel or skip to another track if anything on this best-selling drinks coaster comes on. To be fair, I think that is as much to do with the fact that these tracks get absolutely murdered by constant radio play, but even so I can't think of many other records from this year that get such consistently negative reactions from me. This is your fault, Spotify.
14) Linkin Park - One More LightAgain, I'm not going to go into the whole Chester Bennington thing here, that discussion warrants its own blog post. But One More Light was such a spiteful backhanded slap in the face for tentatively peering back into a world I used to be intrenched in out of genuine curiosity that I would actually feel offended if I cared enough about Linkin Park in 2017. I don't feel like I need to spend more time talking about One More Light when I already spent too much writing a review earlier in the year. If you didn't get around to it then, don't bother.
13) Prophets of Rage - Prophets of Rage
My hype for this record was pretty crazy, which in retrospect was probably one of the main reasons this was such a flop. I mean, surely this should have been awesome, given all the ingredients - including a volatile political landscape ripe for critique - were there and readily available. I didn't want Rage Against The Machine 2.0, but we really should have been able to expect something even close to as powerful and biting as they were in their prime given the talent and pedigree on this record. A sour, sour disappointment for me that this album sucked as much as it did.
12) Fit For An Autopsy - The Great Collapse
Deathcore can be cool, I promise. It's just a shame that Fit For An Autopsy aren't doing a great job of convincing anyone of that sentiment. Unfortunately it's getting harder and harder to defend deathcore, and given that I had labelled Fit For An Autopsy as a band to watch carefully within this musical world I found The Great Collapse to be not only a massive let down but a reason why I won't call myself a deathcore fan.
11) Imagine Dragons - Evolve
Not really sure I need to say much about this one; everything about this record screamed "play me on the radio" and for that I resent Imagine Dragons pretty wholeheartedly. Please correct me if I'm missing the point, but I have seen and heard nothing to convince me that they aren't simply watered-down (or just standard, these days) Coldplay worship group intent on filling out the middle of the bellcurve. That bellcurve exists for a reason though, and evidently they meet a fairly large demand, but everything about Evolve just seemed too sanitary and perfect for me.
10) Foster The People - Sacred Hearts ClubI copped some heat for my review of this album when it came out, but guess what? It still sucks. And it's my list, so here it is.
9) Various Artists - Spawn (Again): A Tribute To SilverchairOcean Grove smashed it, as did Northlane. The In Hearts Wake cover of "Freak" was surprisingly awesome. Other than that, this tribute album comprised of the major UNFD mainstays falls flat on its face. Unsurprisingly Amity's rendition of "Tomorrow" is an utter snooze-fest, and Void of Vision completely butcher my all-time favourite Silverchair song, "Israel's Son".
8) In Hearts Wake - ArkMuch like The Amity Affliction's This Could Be Heartbreak from last year, Ark proves that you can't simply manufacture success by replicating what you've done before. Granted, there is a sort of interesting idea in the water theme going with this record, but at this stage even the loose concept album thing has become samey for In Hearts Wake. Ark doesn't make it onto this list for the same reasons as some of the other albums here; it makes it onto this list because I know (or have at least convinced myself) that they can do so much better than rinse and repeat. The problem here is that they have done it enough times that I'm starting to be convinced otherwise. The world does notice when you make the same album four times in a row. Or I do, at the very least.
7) New Found Glory - Makes Me SickI don't have to say it, do I?
6) Future - FutureRinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.
5) Mastodon - Emperor of Sand
This album hurt me. Deeply.
4) Drake - More LifeShould be titled "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things".
3) The Chainsmokers - Memories... Do Not Open
I didn't write a review for this one when it came out, and even though it has been requested (sorry Max), I resisted writing about it for a long time. Here it is though, coming in hot at number 3 in my list for my least favourite albums of the year. Memories... is the kind of album that fills an aspiring musician (like myself) with confidence and lights a fire under your bum, because if they can make it, surely I can. It genuinely baffles me that such mediocre songwriting, generic production and both emotionally immature and properly annoying lyricism can come together to make one of the 2017 success stories in music. Bet hey, what do I know?
2) Shania Twain - NowI don't know why we needed another Shania Twain album in the first place but Now pretty much fulfilled my expectations of what would happen if we heard from her in 2017. I still can't quite figure out what the point of this record is. Frustratingly, apparently not everyone agrees, given that it shifted 137,000 copies in its first week.
And here it is...
1) XXXTENTACION - 17
I know he told me not to care if it's not for me. I know it's meant to be for people who are "going through the same thing" so they can get through it together. And I know that 17 wasn't even meant for me. But before I even get into the lyrical side of this "album", there is so little actual material here that feels like it was properly thought over and developed into actual music that I found it incredibly hard to believe that this guy actually put enough effort in this project to warrant any attention back. Every single track is completely undercooked, merely ideas that haven't been turned into actual songs. There's this weird contrast between dirty hip-hop tracks and acoustic tracks that makes absolutely no sense to me; there just isn't any cohesion at all between these two sounds and by the time the 22 minutes are up I can't decide which of the two I liked less. No doubt I;ll get some shade for putting this as my worst album of the year, but it was such an underdeveloped, juvenile and whiney mess that I honestly wish I could take back the time I spent listening to it. At least it's short.So there you have it! There were a bunch more albums that could have easily made it onto here but I just didn't want to have to think about this one too much. Remember kids, I'm just a nerd behind a keyboard and my opinion is just as meaningless as yours in a world where everyone is a self-proclaimed expert, so if any of my choices made you angry feel free to either leave an angry comment or yell it over the fence at your neighbour. Or, if you want, you can think about my choices, think about what your choices are, maybe start a conversation with someone, maybe think a little more about how you listen to music. How good's music?
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